Thursday, February 16, 2012

Speak a little louder, will you?

Our family's tape recorder was a big hit in our house.  Leave it to yours truly to find a way to use this 1980's technological miracle to torture fellow members of my household.

Maybe I'd lay in wait by the bathroom door as my brother dropped a deuce.  Record all the sounds. Then a day or two later ask him how "the girl he liked from school would react to this"grinning like Cheshire the Cat as I pushed the "Play" button.  Laugh as I watched his face turn into a mortified ashen shade of embarrassment and shame.

Sit at the top of the stairs snickering with my brother as we recorded my mom getting on my dad's case about something he forgot to do around the house.  Hearing her say, "And goddamn it, take a shower and put in your contacts on your days off will you?  The neighbors must think you look like a damn bum!" was like recording gold...

Ah yes...memories.  The best though was when I used it on my poor younger sister.  She was like a gazelle when it came to being gullible to my antics...Me?  The preying cheetah....

One day we were sitting in our room doing mostly nothing.  I had the recorder on my bed and stealthily pushed the "Record" button.  Then proceeded to have a casual chat.

"Hey," I asked her as she sat on her bed fussing with some Barbie clothes, "do you ever say bad words?"  She looked up at me kind of confused at my asking and replied, "No way!  Are you crazy?  My friends would tell their mom and you just KNOW our mom would get a call.  Not worth it."

Undeterred, I prodded further, "But would you LIKE to say a bad word?  I mean, between you and me..anything?"  She thought for a second and said, "Well sure, I mean, I get mad sometimes and want to say stuff."

"Yeah? Like, what word would you like to say?  I mean, you can tell me...I'm just curious.  I'll tell you my favorite curse word if you tell me yours..."

She paused for a moment.  Looked at me with an expression not unlike someone who just got away with stealing candy, leaned in a bit and said, "I'd probably say, 'Shit!'"

"No...really?  Say it again...but just a little louder this time."

She sat up straight, looked at me and said, "I said, SHIT!!!"

I looked at her as I pulled the recorder over to my lap and said, "Cool.  Thanks..."

"Thanks for what?" she asked...

"For this!  Mom will love it!" staring at her with a big grin as I pressed "Play"...

Really loved seeing her reaction...but that was really always the best part, right?

Outta here!

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