Monday, February 14, 2011

Let your love shine...

Ok ok, so it's Valentine's Day...Yippee do.  Maybe we get a little more cynical about it as adults, but as a kid I loved the holiday.  I loved decorating the brown lunch bag with red heart shaped doilies and candy hearts.  The anticipation of opening a 'special' valentine I just knew was meant just for me.

Which brings me to third grade...I had a crush on a kid named Jeff.  He was this blond kid with blue eyes.  VERY athletic...Could play dodgeball like none other.  Good at kickball too.  I'd try to walk home from school with him, find any excuse to talk to him.

Anyway, imagine my surprise when on Valentine's Day that year, I opened one of the flimsy paper envelopes to reveal a bigger than expected Valentine card. As I opened it, two little faux gem hearts fell out.  The card showed two cartoony smiling heart people wearing sneakers and dancing.  I mean really stupid, but I was taken with what it read, "I think you're sweet....Love, Jeff"....

"Love, Jeff"?  Could have knocked me over with a feather.  My face turned red and I carefully placed the fake gems back into the envelope.  It was official.  I had a boyfriend.

Our romance was really meaningful.  I mean, in a third grade kind of way.  No, we didn't hold hands or kiss, but we do go down the slide after each other at recess.  We sat next to each other at lunch.  I smiled as he picked me for his kickball team.

Did we talk much? No, but our hearts were already intertwined, so we didn't need that open communication nonsense.  In fact, we barely looked at each other.  We already knew what the other looked like.  I mean, c'mon!  Let's not get too clingy!

Then one day at recess my future with Jeff came crashing down.  A bunch of us were tossing a football around.  I wanted to try to show off.  As I ran to catch the ball, it nailed me in my right eye...I saw stars it hit me so hard.  One trip to the school nurse later, I had a black eye.

It was during my recovery from this injury that Jeff's unconditional love was tested and he failed. Miserably.  The next day at school he made it clear he had moved on with Evelyn.  She was this big sweaty girl with giant buggy eyes.  She kind of scared me.   I didn't see the attraction...literally.  My eye was swollen shut.

I think our romance lasted about 4 school days.  Not too shabby...

Dumping me over a shiner.  What a prick.

I'm going to go eat some chocolate now...


  1. You crack me up. I once flung a Valentine's Day card like a ninja throwing star at a cute little girl in 2nd grade and then fled in terror and never spoke to her again. That's my story.

  2. Tommy - "Fled in terror"...HAHA! Cute....

  3. I wonder what Jeff is like today??

  4. Wasn't this a scene in 'Flatliners'?