Thursday, June 23, 2011

I go pogo...

I liked pogo sticks.  Do they even make them anymore?  I don't know....Probably.  I'm sure there are nerds out there who still like them...Relish in looking like a complete moron jumping up and down and up and down....Like they're hot shit...Not.

I got mine for Christmas one year when I was living in Colorado. All of my relatives lived out of state, so we came to love the big brown UPS truck as it stopped in front of our house for a delivery.  My dad's parents were like a second Santa Claus to us.

The UPS man carried a particularly large box to our door.  My dad brought it into our living room and sliced it opened with his utility knife.  My sisters and brothers and I all stood around watching in anticipation.  Imagine my delight when he peeked into the delivery box and proclaimed, "Whoa!  Trina!  Someone hit the gravy train!  Here you go!" as he pulled out a huge wrapped box.

I scrambled to open it and what did my eyes behold?  A pogo stick.  It had red handles with this big spring in the center.  You've seen them, right?  I mean, I'm sure you kind of rolled your eyes at who ever was playing with it...but I'm sure you were curious.  I'd like to think so anyway...

I had to try it...immediately.  You see, as with roller skating, bike ramps, flute playing, I had to be the best.  It didn't matter I was the only freak on the block with a pogo stick.  But if anyone else got one, they'd know not to fuck around with the Trinster.

I ran outdoors onto our driveway.  Placed my feet on the foot rests and was surprised at the amount of dexterity required to even board the thing.  Finally I figured just jumping onto the foot paddle with both feet was the champion's approach to pogo-ing.

"ONE! TWO!!"...jumps I counted before falling off.  "ONE! TWO! THREE!"...a little better that time.  This is how I perfected my pogo athleticism.  Never giving up.  Always striving, pushing myself...Once I mastered staying on, height would be next.

You may be wondering what ran through my head as I reached new heights on my pogo.  "Man on the Moon" (kind of dumb given gravity pulled me back down.  But let's not get technical.), "Kangaroo" (a really good naturally agile jumper), "ZOOM" (A dumb program I watched.  Wished I had the stripe shirt), "Olympics" (I really thought there should be a competition for this sport).

What do I think of myself as I look back?  "Shit for Brains.  Get a life.  You look like an idiot on that thing.  The neighbors are laughing and you'll never get dates that way.  Dismount now!"

See ya...


  1. Never get dates? What about that cute neighbor guy that all the sudden pogos his way over to your front yard?

    ::falls off pogo stick::

    "Shoot! I'm not good at this!"

    (you) "Need some help?" ::flourish of pogo-ry::

    "Wow! You're really good! Think you could teach me?"

    "I could try. What you got there? Pogo-nator 8000? Pretty nice. My name's Trina."

    "Hi, I'm Brock."

    [cue porn music]

    "And I wanna DO YOU."

    And then, you know, brown chicken brown cow.

    It happens.

  2. Caleb - I'm dying laughing... "Pogo-nator 8000"....HAHA!