Monday, March 14, 2011
Things I thought were cool, but probably weren't...
Here are a few things I thought added to my coolness factor when I was a kid:
I used to like roller skating. No, put the visual of white leather skates with a stopper to rest. I liked it more dangerous than that. Metal skates. Ones that were adjustable by loosening a wingnut. You'd wear them over your sneakers. Mine just didn't seem fast enough so I snuck into my dad's WD-40 to grease the skids so to speak. My neighbor used to say, "Wow, Trina! You're a daredevil! SO FAST!" as I raced downhill. You know how those ski jumpers pose just before they take off from the platform? All bent at the knee? I'd do that...
I liked riding my pink bike with a denim banana seat over plywood ramps. Did I mention the chain guard read, "Sweet and Sassy"? It did. Anyway, I was always trying to catch some air...is that how you say it? Glide across like a professional BMX-er. Pretty dumb. I didn't even have a dirt bike. Lame.
I orchestrated neighborhood parades. Yep, sure did. I'd make all the neighbor hood kids pull out their wagons, big wheels (green machines were preferred), bikes...We'd tell our parents a big parade was coming down Sherwin Circle...Get out your lawnchairs cause it's gonna be great. I remember one year dressing my sister and brother as clowns. I used upside down Ohio State pom poms for their clown hair. Yep, I did that.
I liked rolling up aluminum foil and placing it across my teeth. Like braces. I thought my friends looked cute with braces. I wanted them...I actually needed them. My parents kept taking me to dentists until they found one who said I didn't need them. But I digress. I loved braces. Girls who had braces in Junior High climbed to the top of the "Most Beautiful and Popular" list. The best foil to use for faux braces was Wrigley's gum wrappers by the way. By today's standard's I was actually creating a grill, but no one knew about those back then, did they?
I was good at making fart noises with my armpit. You know, how you place your palm in your pit and then pumped your other arm as its bent at a 90 degree angle? Really, it was a hoot. My siblings will tell you I was the best. I thought that was cool too.
I went through a rhythmic gymnastics phase too. I wasn't good enough for the real flippy, bendy stuff. I felt rhythmic gymnastics looked pretty easy by comparison. I especially loved the ribbon on a stick deal. You've seen that right? The girl does all kinds of pretty poses and dance moves as she twirls the ribbon? I fancied myself like that...Only I used toilet paper. Would it have been to much to ask for some standard ribbon? Probably not...But if I was lucky and the toilet paper came in a pastel color, I felt it made a nice substitute for the real deal. Floated through the air quite nicely. Only downside was it tore pretty easily if my leg caught it during a spin on my mother's linoleum floor.
I'm sure you have a few of your own things you thought were cool. Right? Come on, out with it! Make me feel a little less weird.