So I'm making it official. I fucking despise going to warehouse clubs to do my shopping. It all starts with trying to park....dodging and weaving between people hauling a year's supply of canned tomatoes and toilet paper in carts.
Then you have to get a cart...Carts that are I'm guess double the size of a standard grocery cart...Oh, let's not forget to tack on a plastic goddamn car on the front so the kids can have a sweet ride while their mother...(me) hauls ass pushing the cart equivalent of a city bus.
Then you go the check out and it's like the super duper deluxe stealthy transaction...The cashier...sizing you up...then continue with their, "Do you have your club card?" I want to scream, "Fuck yeah I do! What? You think I'm hauling shit in this behemoth cart to work my upper arms? Fuck off and scan my 10 lb bag of flour you douche bag. Oh, here's my card..."
I even had a cashier tell me she wouldn't lift my 40 lb bag of dog food. So I had to lift it. Fuck that! There should be a weight lifting requirement for people checking me out. Right? I mean like in the interview that woman should have done 10 push ups...or carried a huge ass bag of dog food. Then if she appeared weak, a trap door would open sending her down a swirly slide back to the parking lot....
So I'm really worked up today because after pushing a double wide, locating my club card, paying...oh, wait one other thing...I had to dig out my license too because they'll card you no matter what...Not kidding. I could show up with a walker waving a colostomy bag and they'd still ask me to keep my balance while digging in my pocketbook (isn't that what old farts call bags?)...and then I'd slip on a bulk grape someone dropped and I'd end up breaking my hip anyway...and because the parking lot is so difficult to navigate the ambulance would have a hard time making it to the....
Wait....I'm rambling...back to complaining...
Anyway, you know how after you pay? They'll say "Keep your receipt out for check out at the door"...Why not just say what they're really thinking? "We're on to you...you fucking cheap ass thieving thief! Can't pull a fast one on US by God! No siree!"....
Back to today...I'm pushing my huge cart that now weighs 200 lbs (this includes weight of attached goddamn plastic car and 80 lbs worth of children), I hear this as I approach the receipt checker patrol..."UH-UH-UHUH!"...and this posy of foreign men totally cut me off and held out his receipt. Then looked OVER his shoulder at me as he walked out....What a dick!!!!!
I'll give the receipt checker credit though...he agreed that guy was rude...we both kind of looked at each other like we were both thinking, "Asswipe." Or at least I'd like to think he was thinking that and I'm not a rage-aholic.
The nerve of that guy.....
Whew, that felt good!
Outta here...
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