Turning the mundane into funny...Just for your reading pleasure. What the hell is she pointing at?
Monday, April 30, 2012
The Time I Won a Cake.
Ever do a cake walk at a carnival? No? WHAT?! Never?!
Is it ever your mother loving lucky day. Because whether you want to hear about it or not, I'm going to share my experience.
My elementary school would host a fundraiser carnival every Spring. My brothers, sisters and I lived for it.
One of the events we most looked forward to was the cake walk. About 25 large homemade cakes donated by parents were placed on a table. A lady would hit the play button on a music player and you start walking around the table...BUT WAIT!
Not every spot had a cake. When the music stopped and you happened to be standing in front of a cake? You just hit pay dirt big time...
I happened to be the lucky contestant once...I won a strawberry cake very similar to the one pictured above. Doesn't it look divine? Yeah...I smiled at the other enviously hungry contestants as I excitedly picked up my (literally) sweet winnings.
By now you may be asking, "Trina why the shit were you excited to win a cake? Your mother never baked you numb nut?"
I have your answer....Winning a cake gave me a boost up the rungs of seniority at home. Everyone wanted some, but I owned it. Only promises of doing dishes on my night or making my bed would one be afforded a thin sliver of made-from-the-box goodness. Parents included....I got a break from practicing my flute. And dad finally fixed the chain on my bike...
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Of course we've been brushing!
1978. Family trip to Ohio to visit relatives. We spent two weeks there. My brothers, sisters and I had a ton of fun.
On one of the last days of our visit, my mother comes into my grandparents' living and asks me where all my siblings' toothbrushes were.
I didn't know. I took care of my own stuff.
So mom goes to the kitchen where my five younger brothers and sisters were seated eating their breakfast and proceeds to ask them...
"Where are your toothbrushes?"....My sister replies, "We left them at home."
My mother was appalled...disgusted...
How could her kids go nearly TWO weeks without brushing their teeth?
Mom says, "You mean to tell Meeeee....that you've gone this ENTIRE time without brushing your TEETH?!"
My sister allayed her fears by saying, "No, mom! We've been brushing...All of us have been using yours!"
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Body Lingo was cool...
1979...My grandmother in Ohio sends me a package for my birthday. I excitedly opened it and was immediately taken with its contents...
Body Lingo Jeans...They are pictured above...Ever heard of the brand? Look at those chics...Full of confidence, happy...
If I remember correctly, they were purchased from JC Penney's...Mine looked at little more special than the ones pictured above. I had a Cadillac mack daddy version because my Body Lingo jeans had a bright turquoise stripe down each leg.
I liken my Body Lingo jean experience to my birth as a roller rink queen. Body Lingo was reserved for that occasion. I'd rock my denim and at one point even had a satin jacket...with a sparkly roller skate on the back...Awesome, right?
Yeah, my Body Lingo jeans really gave me confidence as I stood in the rink not skating when the music cued "Couple Skate"...No one asked me. But still, I took it in stride. Body Lingo jeans did nothing to improve my backward skate technique either...
My love affair with my Body Lingo jeans came to a crashing end when my brother and I were throwing a football in our street. He lobbed the perfect spiral throw. I ran full speed and dove to catch it...on asphalt. I rolled backwards with ball in hand...elation quickly followed by horror when I saw I ripped two giant holes in the knees.
Bye bye Body Lingo. Where's that satin jacket? That stuff always comes back in style right?
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