Wednesday, January 12, 2011

There's No Drama like Snow Drama...

Another huge snowstorm is walloping Boston today.  And once again I sit on my sofa, glued to the television set.  I’m watching local weather news coverage.  It’s addicting…I can’t stop myself. 

What is it with major snowstorms that suddenly get us interested in weather?   Maybe it’s Doppler radar showing those so-called ‘color bands’ indicating how much snow you’re estimated to get…and the excitement when you learn you’re in the heavy band zone.  By the way, I’m in what the weatherman calls “The Jackpot Zone”.  He means we’re getting a shitload of the white stuff, but probably can’t say that on air.  I’m sure he’s thinking it though.

Watching the news on snow days also refreshes my memory on measurements.  I enjoy watching as the local reporters stand by a road and say the snow is “about mid knee in depth” as they point to their knee.  “Oh, is that a knee?” I think to myself,  “Where again? I need an anatomy refresher.  And how tall are you again local reporter?  Because height matters. If you’re 6 feet tall that’s a hell of a lot of snow.  5’2” ?  Not so much.”

I also appreciate local viewers sending in their pictures of the snow.  Blankets of white snow in Brockton or Newton, MA looks so much different and unique than the snow in my yard.  Sometimes you’ll even get a cool shot of a downed power line or tree….the local weather coverage equivalent of a NASCAR crash.  Awesome.

High winds also add to local coverage excitement.  The local weather reporter is wearing ski goggles and a huge parka.  Like those National Geographic Antarctic explorer guys?  He looks like that.  And he’s sure to tell us he’s being anchored to the ground by another colleague to keep from falling down.  I stare as he struggles to stand as he’s buffeted by wind and say to myself, “Whoa, now THAT’S windy.  Be careful out there man…”

And lastly, the reporters who get to sit in the warm studio.  They have to remind us of the ‘warm studio’.  I can’t tell whether they use a day like today to tout their seniority to the other saps standing in the blizzard, freezing their asses off.  “We’re here in our warm studio,” they’ll say, as though other days they do without heat. 

Oh and here’s a nugget of wisdom provided by my local anchorwoman as she sits in her warm studio.  Brace yourselves.  Ready for this? “When you walk toward the snow, your face will get wet.”

No shit. 

Think I’ll stay inside.  And watch local weather coverage….


  1. Snow, pfft...

    Here in Chicago it's a non-issue really. We never get school closings or anything...gyp!

    Enjoy your nice warm house and your dorky weathermen though! :)

  2. "Where again?" HAHAHA

    And look at that fucker in the picture. Goofy ass son of a bitch.

  3. "Remember, don't eat the yellow snow. Back to you, Ken."

  4. Peggy - Chicago huh? That's probably worse than Boston in the snowfall department...haha..

    Zibbs - That's a relative of mine. Kidding...

    Tommy - What's yellow snow?