Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Confession: I loved Garfield

HAHAHA!  Oh my GOD!  Is he a stitch or WHAT?!  I LOVED Garfield!

That lazy lasagna loving dog hating cat really tickled my funny bone.  I don't remember when exactly my infatuation with Garfield began.  Maybe 7th grade...Lastest through my 8th grade year I think...Yes, yes, 8th grade friends in Colorado threw me a Garfield themed surprise going away party....Scored Odie to add to my Garfield stuffed animal collection.

I know a lot about Garfield.  He had a teddy bear named Pooky, for example...See him there?  Cute right?  I had a stuffed Pooky too.  Every morning I'd make my bed and artfully display my stuffed Garfield family.  Garfield holding Pooky, Odie...I never had the girlfriend cat pictured above in pink.  Maybe it was subliminal jealousy...I don't know.

I'm happy it brought me a sense of joy back in the 13th and 14th years of my life because for the life of me now?  I don't know why I even read the comic.  I mean, I have a pretty dry sense of humor...I'd like to think I'm somewhat funny.  I'm convinced the comedic section of my brain went dormant for 24 months, give or take.

I mean, really...Do you find this funny?

So fucking dumb, right?  And how did he convince the dog he needed his collar?  And you want to tell me animals communicate via telepathy?  What kind of crap is that?  It's bad enough Jim Davis even created Garfield...but it's a comic strip for God's sake.  Just let the animals talk...Like Looney Toons...Why speak in thought?  Stupid!

Oh and this one will really make you spit out your latte:

Hysterical right? (**Straight face...rolls eyes in annoyance.  Scratches rash she just received**)

If I had a time machine I'd go back to my younger self sitting at my parent's table eagerly reading the Sunday Garfield and whisper the following:

"Hey, shit for brainz.  When you're done wiping your tears of laughter reading this comic strip, you may want to think about your future.  This sucks.  You should be ashamed of yourself.  You'll lose dates when they hear about this.  Hell, you may have just pigeon holed yourself into the Geek rung of your social ladder strata.  Wake the hell up...STOP LAUGHING!  IT'S TOTAL SHIT!!! Oh, and take that Goddamn Garfield family off your bed you bag of balls.  There'll be a thing in the future called Ebay.  No one will want him there either."

See ya...