Hi, I'm Trina...(I guess)...

Do you remember that one shy kid you knew growing up?  You and all your cool friends would point and say, "Let's see what the shy girl does."

I was that kid.  Very quiet...As with everything, being shy had its pros and cons.

One major negative I remember to being shy was being asked to do stuff and being too shy to say, "Fuck no, I won't do that!"...Well ok, I was only in second grade...but I'm sure if I knew the phrase I would have said it.  Mrs. Fisk was reading a story to our class. We were seated on the floor...indian style.  Can I still use that term?  "Indian style"?

Anyway, that day I had the great misfortune of being seated next to Bradley.  The dirtiest kid in 2nd grade.  He had green fingernails and hair that looked like it was covered in a layer of dust.  I was listening to Mrs. Fisk read our story when she suddenly stopped and looked in my direction.  "Trina, if you need a kleenex, get up and grab one.  Please clean that up."

I was shocked and embarassed.  Had no idea what she was referring to...I glanced to my side and saw a giant green booger...in the carpet.  Next to Bradley...who at this point was staring ahead as though he was oblivious to the mess...I was shy...so I got up, grabbed a tissue and gagged as I cleaned up Bradley's booger.

Being shy can also mean you're a piss poor athlete.  I hated dodgeball because I was always the first target.  I'd clumsily try to run out of the way before I felt my cheek sting from getting pummeled by a kickball.  I sucked at kickball too...Queen of "airkicks"...meaning I missed the ball with my foot when it was time to kick.

I also remember in 4th grade my teachers had the brilliant idea of a "Lost and Found" parade the end of the school year.  Everyone had to wear a random scarf....maybe a mitten or two...a jacket.  What did I get?  Some fucker actually wore a bright yellow rain hat.

Not just any hat, mind you.  It looked like a yellow version of a beekeeper bonnet...Only all plastic.  With a clear plastic window so you could see.  So fucking dumb.  As though we lived in Cambodia and had blinding rain.  Anyway, I was too shy to say no.  So I had to march in the parade with that hat.  And of course who ever did own it pretended it wasn't theirs and instead laughed watching me wear it.  Thanks for that.

I did use my shyness to my advantage at times.  For instance, I once got totally pissed off by a girl who also happened to be my next door neighbor.  I found a dead mouse at recess and put it in her lunch pail.  We had open classrooms which were great for hearing her blood curdling scream when she discovered the dead rodent.

I sat smirking to myself as I was not at all suspected.  A bully named David was instead fingered as the perpetrator.  I had no problem watching him get carted to the principal's office.  He was sentenced to 3 days of detention.  Oh well.

Did I ever get over my shyness?  Yeah.  Kind of.  10 moves with your dad working at IBM will do that. But if we ever meet?  I'll be the quiet one...initially...until you get to know me.

Outta here...