Thursday, December 15, 2011

Crappy Wedding Pictures...Total Crap.

Maybe it's this time of year and I can mentally hear "Oh my god, (insert man name here)!  Yes I'll marry you!" as women get their new engagement ring for Christmas.

So ladies, congratulations and crap.  Enjoy your moment.  For what it's worth, here are some of my thoughts on wedding photography.  Namely, pictures I really fucking hate.  I mean, just don't do these poses:

I look at this and think, "Morgue".  Why would you want to stare at your bloated mitt?  Case closed.

Nice cans girlfriend!

Why would any woman do this pose?  Is he guiding her hand to his nad-ular region or something?  GET A ROOM!

Sorry but I never want a shot of the underside of my pits.  I mean, really.  Ew.

Somebody get me a valium and a spit up bucket...This is just repulsive.  Something tells me they had a Hello Kitty themed wedding...because of the 'cute' factor.  Not because they're Japanese...

Thanks for showing us the back of some old guy's head.  He'll love knowing he had male pattern baldness for her big day.  I'm assuming this dude's her dad and not her husband...or the caterer.  Or the DJ because she's three sheets...

Pictures that rock!

Class AND Sass!  Way to go statistically-likely-to-divorce couple!!!

And I've saved the best for last....Totally dig that guy in the lower left corner.  Not that I needed to point him out...Classic!

Outta here.....


  1. That last one is fan-fucking-tastic! If you look through all of my wedding photos in chronological order, you'll see the routine posed ones and then a few of me looking miserable because I was totally over it and just needed a goddamn drink.

  2. Don't you love it Smedette? The Hairy dude? haha! And "I know"...think it's even worse when you're a bridesmaid...